Tomorrow the Marching Band will have its first official public performance for the football game. The football team of the UD is going to confront that of Massachusetts, and by the look of it, it will be a big game. However, I don’t care. My volunteered job tomorrow will be to snap a few good pictures of Shoshana in her Marching Band uniform, which looks like that of the guard of the Buckingham Palace, with my aging camera that basically functions badly. Since Shoshana will have to keep switching her position in the array, I have no choice but to memorize the pattern of changes. I didn’t find it hard, because I’m basically used to its pattern after days of on-looking. Except the “Star-Spangled Banner”, the Marching Band has good choice of music. I suppose tomorrow they will play “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Holiday”, and hopefully they will skip the anthem. Also, Shoshana almost lost her balance when she saw me among the audience.
However, the show time was after the rehearsal. When I made my way back to my dorm, passing through the Old College, I met a group of gospel singers near the Elliot Hall (Honers Program Office). I smiled at their lovely voices, and when I was about to cross the road a sweet young lady greeted me with her youthful big smile. First, she asked me how I was, and I started to wonder if I knew her. “Is she one of my classmates?”. I pondered to myself. I quickly scanned through my memory of different faces, but however failed to recognize that face in front of me. After that I started to worry. “Could she be one of those girls that I flirted with?”, I wondered. But after knowing Shoshana I’ve stopped flirting, and even if I did I couldn’t remember the faces whatsoever. Seeing my puzzled face, she finally started speaking.
“What do you think about this gospel band?”, she asked with a sunny grin. So is this an interview? I answered her saying it was really nice. Then suddenly this girl asked me if I knew Jesus. Honestly, that was unexpected even though I should have expected it since, after all, it was a GOSPEL band. It wasn’t the Marching Band or any other Rock n Roll Band. But that question furthered my confusion. “Who doesn’t know about Jesus”, I asked myself. “Wait”, I suddenly had a new idea, “Maybe she is talking about someone named Jesus too?”. It’s definitely something rare, but it doesn’t mean that it couldn’t happen. “Maybe there’s this guy out there whose nickname is Jesus”, I thought. In order to make sure we were on about the same person, I almost asked her “You mean Jesus Christ?” But I suppose she would find it offensive. Reluctantly, I told her that Jesus was someone respectful, but apparently she wanted more. “Do you know about Christianiity? What’s your religion?”. Oops. Religion. My favorite topic. I think I actually grinned.
”Well”, I began, searching for the right words, “Yes I know about Christianity”. “And do you have a religion?”, she pursued the question. Instantly Albert Einstein’s famous quote appeared in my head: “I’m a religious non-believer. I guess this is somewhat a new kind of religion”. I was going to quote Einstein before I remembered all the scolding mails Einstein received from the Pope and Archbishops, so I swallowed the words. “I believe in Deism”, I claimed. Even though I knew I was closer to Pantheism, I seriously doubted that she would know about Pantheism, and I couldn’t be bothered to explain about Spinoza, a world-famous excommunicated philosopher, to her. “Deism?”, she gave me a questioning look. “Yes”, I assured her, “Deism”. “Okay I got it”, she nodded her head slowly. When I thought the religious interview was going to an end, this pretty lady suddenly tossed another question to me.
”Do you believe in heaven and hell?”. All of the sudden, John Lennon’s image took shape somewhere inside. “Imagine there’s no heaven. No hell below us”. Again, that would be offensive if I told her that, but I nevertheless tried to express my opinions. “Well..I am not really sure if there’s a heaven or a hell” , I began slowly. “Our moral values are not absolute..so….”, but before I finished I was interrupted. “What about rape?”, she began. “It’s a bad thing, isn’t it?”. I couldn’t believe my ears, so I tried to confirm what I just heard. “What? Excuse me? Pardon?”. “Rape”, she stressed it again. “It’s someone having sex with an unwilling girl”. Oh fine. I thought. But honestly a girl can rape a boy too. The opening chords of Kurt Cobain’s infamous song “Rape Me” gradually intruded my head, and I finally agreed that rape was absolutely a bad thing. “But still it’s based on human values”, I insisted. Now she looked at me in gentle disbelief. “Rape!!! It’s a really really really bad thing and don’t you think the rapist should be puunished?”. “Indeed”, I said, “Rape is undoubtedly an absolutely evil deed.”. “Still”, I reiterated, “the punishment of such a crime is left to the Law and the government. I don’t think the nature force will be in charge of that”. I can assure you that she looked helpless, but she chose to fight on in defense. “You see,” she continued, “This gospel band is trying to tell us that Jesus Christ sacrifices himself for our sins so that we can all go to heaven!!” “Don’t you think heaven does exist? Where do the bad people go anyway?”, she concluded with a smile of triumph. I really hate this, but once again a certain tune invaded my mind, and this time it was Lake of Fire. “Where the bad folks go when they die? Don’t go to heaven where the angels fly. Go to a lake of fire and fry. See them again until the 4th of July!!”
I, again, stressed my point of view and even want to tell her that maybe Adolf Hitler is not in hell, but she questioned me where I’d go when I died. I, with great confidence and all the glories, announced that I shall unite with the nature force after my death. She gave up preaching, but didn’t seem to give up assuring me of Jesus Christ’s great and unique selfless sacrifice that released us from sins. “Would you die for someone who tried to do harm to you?”, she said, eyeing me seriously with her beautiful watery blue eyes. I suppose she intended to make it a difficult question, since selfless sacrifice isn’t all that easy after all, but to her surprise I answered without hesitation that I would certainly sacrifice myself for someone even she did me great harm”
”You are really a good person”, she eventually remarked after studying me from head to toes, as if she was expecting a golden halo above my head. “Maybe”, I answered with a quick smile, “I’m just a common person…like you.”. Of course, she didn’t notice my stress in “she”. After asking my name and stating that we had a “wonderful” conversation, she bid me goodbye as I turned around to cross the road. Then after a few seconds of walk I realized that we were near the entrance of Elliot Hall. I smirked at this thought: thank God she met me instead of Alan Fox.
(Alan Fox 是丁的世界宗教 教授)
